wandering soul
you are welcome to make a home of my bones
use my teeth as nails
and my eyes for windows
may my hair be a curtain 
to hide behind when you are fearful and ashamed

and i spent that entire year crawling
trying to find a sanctuary that you havent invaded yet
a sliver of sanity
i came back with the same mindset and busted kneecaps
i spent so much time on my knees
bargaining with god, and was returned with knees that were bloody and raw
from to the amount of time i’ve been on them
the air around me is polluted now
and i’ve been trying to find a substitute
i’ve smoked carton after carton 
but the smoke doesn’t burn in my lungs the way you did
the smoke doesn’t fit right with my body the way you did
and if i think about it long enough
the only thing that satisfies me now causes disease
just like you did
my nails are bitten to the quick
and i’ve bitten my lips so many times 
that they’ve started to create calluses like an armor
they ward off new memories
trying to keep the old
i’ve been picking the scabs off my knees lately
because they’re the only thing that feels real
they’re like a reminder of you
i hope they heal and scar the skin
it’s like knowing that i’ve moved passed the pain
and i’m better now but i wasn’t always

never safe in my skin
nobody gets in
inclining on my future with a light foot
incase i decide to run back to the past
going nowhere only to start again

i’m going through my options with a fine toothed comb
i’m starting to have no options left
my hands come out unscathed
scarless, with no story to be shown

i’ve memorized every crease on the ceiling
due to the amount of time i’ve laid on back staring at them
like they have the answers i’ve been looking for
i’ve found no answers, but they give me comfort like a convenient friend

my own voice startles me
the lack of use leaves it dry and scratched
like the scratches on a vinyl over the years
a jolt to the system
a shock to the ears

i am a continent 
and they are the sea
solitaire and rigid
as they pull back and push forward again
taking little bits of me

it burns its way into me in a way that you never could.